[There are only two things written on an otherwise blank sheet of paper: a single line of text in the middle and a two-word prompt in the bottom right corner.]
Why did the cowboy adopt a weiner dog? (Turn over -->)
[The little arrow compels you! Do it, do it!]
He wanted to get a long little doggy!!
You probably noticed that shit kind of hit the fan in a pretty disturbing way recently. Or maybe you somehow missed it, and if that's the case then you might want to ask somebody about that because you missed something big, my friend! I don't know how long you've been here, so I am not sure if you are used to to the fact that things around here are basically terrible most of the time. (spoilers if you're new, I'm sorry) But even if you have been here since the beginning, this was kind of a whole new level of Fucked Up. Am I right? Of course I am. But that's not why I sent you this letter.
I don't know who you are, and truth be told, I picked your mailbox at random. (With luck like yours, you should totally take up gambling.) But I sent you this letter to tell you not to give up. I know everything seems pretty hopeless right now, but that's exactly why right now is the best time to keep hold of your hope. I promise you, this isn't the end. Maybe Ruana is right and the end is in a year, or maybe we will totally throw a wrench in her plans and end it sooner. I don't know. But I do know this: if you give up now (or ever), you will never make it that far. Things aren't going to go the way she wants, because her ending is the shittiest I have ever heard and nobody wants that. We are going to write a better one!
Everything is going to be ok. So don't lose hope, don't give up, and most importantly: don't forget how to smile.
anonymous note
Why did the cowboy adopt a weiner dog?
(Turn over -->)
[The little arrow compels you! Do it, do it!]
He wanted to get a long little doggy!!
You probably noticed that shit kind of hit the fan in a pretty disturbing way recently. Or maybe you somehow missed it, and if that's the case then you might want to ask somebody about that because you missed something big, my friend! I don't know how long you've been here, so I am not sure if you are used to to the fact that things around here are basically terrible most of the time. (spoilers if you're new, I'm sorry) But even if you have been here since the beginning, this was kind of a whole new level of Fucked Up. Am I right? Of course I am. But that's not why I sent you this letter.
I don't know who you are, and truth be told, I picked your mailbox at random. (With luck like yours, you should totally take up gambling.) But I sent you this letter to tell you not to give up. I know everything seems pretty hopeless right now, but that's exactly why right now is the best time to keep hold of your hope. I promise you, this isn't the end. Maybe Ruana is right and the end is in a year, or maybe we will totally throw a wrench in her plans and end it sooner. I don't know. But I do know this: if you give up now (or ever), you will never make it that far. Things aren't going to go the way she wants, because her ending is the shittiest I have ever heard and nobody wants that. We are going to write a better one!
Everything is going to be ok. So don't lose hope, don't give up, and most importantly: don't forget how to smile.
-Hermes